In this article, we are learning a simple and practical technique to become more self-confident effectively.
“The renunciation is a daily suicide.” — H. de Balzac
When it comes to confidence and how to become more self-assured, we often forget a key concept: we forget the responsibility each of us holds toward ourselves.
Do you know that you have the power to change “how you feel” your emotional reactions in certain situations? Are you aware that you can boost your self-confidence on all fronts without becoming an arrogant bully? Do you realize that if you feel trapped, you’ve created that cage yourself?
What do I mean? Keep reading. I promise to explain everything.
Every time you don’t attempt something that might make you a bit uncomfortable, every time you stay within your comfort zone, every time you avoid doing something out of fear, you’re creating your prison, one bar at a time.
Most of us have decorated our prison so well that we’ve convinced ourselves it’s a beautiful apartment. A touch of self-deception here, a couch of excuses there, and a nice parquet floor of useless possessions to cover up the dreams never realized.
But occasionally, the sun manages to peek through the curtains, illuminating the room and revealing it for what it is: a prison and nothing more.
And with that ray of sunlight, the desire to break free teases you, the urge to try new things, to experiment, and to have more control over your destiny.
But fear starts creeping in again. You want to step out of your comfort zone, but you’re afraid of what might happen.
Have you ever wondered what makes a person self-confident? Is it genetics? Is it luck?
No, it’s experienced.
A person is more self-confident than another because they’ve had a series of experiences that have shaped their perception of the world, their self-perception, and their perception of others.
The subtle mechanism here is a perpetual and circular motion: the more experiences a person has that make them self-confident, the more self-confident they feel, and the more they’ll try new things by constantly stepping out of their comfort zone and gaining positive experiences.
It’s a cycle, a virtuous circle that feeds itself.
The same goes in the opposite direction: a person with low self-confidence will spiral down in a vicious cycle, deeper and deeper into the pit.
This applies to every aspect of life: work, relationships, sports, and more.
Okay, I get your point, but what practical steps do you suggest?
How to Boost Your Confidence Effectively Achieve maximum results with minimal effort — that’s the definition of efficiency. However, action must not be lacking; action is the keystone of every improvement process.
To increase self-confidence (or overcome shyness) most effectively, you must take specific actions that will generate your personal virtuous circle.
My preferred technique is the “as if” technique. Let’s see how this technique works in practice.
As soon as you wake up in the morning, engage in a brief personal brainstorming session, asking yourself, “What would I do today if I were already more self-confident?”
Mentally list actions you could take. Avoid thinking about what others can or cannot do; focus on yourself, or rather, on what you would do if you were even more self-confident.
From your list, select the smallest, most achievable action and put it into practice during the day. The next day, do the same but choose a different action. Continue this for at least two weeks.
Why didn’t I tell you to choose and implement the most challenging action? Because that might be too big a step (perhaps you’ve chosen “solo Everest climbing…”), and you could get stuck.
We want your improvement to happen exponentially; start with small things that boost your self-confidence and gradually increase the difficulty.
But I don’t want to come across as arrogant!
This is one of the arguments I hear from my students. Many think that being self-confident means, in order: “acting tough,” “showing off,” “being snobbish,” and “being arrogant.”
Interestingly, assuming these attitudes indicate a lack of confidence, I’m sure you already have some examples in mind.
If you truly feel self-confident and have faith in your abilities, do you really need to act like a show-off every second to convey how cool you are?
Or perhaps, precisely because you are self-confident, do you have the right humility that allows you to listen to others and learn from them truly?
What do you think?
Before we conclude, let’s summarize the most important points of this article.
In this article, we’ve explored several practical strategies to boost your self-esteem. Here are the key tips for becoming more self-confident:
Remember that self-esteem is your responsibility. Start becoming more self-confident when you take 100% responsibility for your own change. Stop blaming your parents or middle school classmates. We can become more self-confident, and it’s up to us to do so.
Embrace uncomfortable situations. You’ll never increase your self-confidence if you constantly stay within your comfort zone. To become more self-assured, you must confront your fears and the situations you’d rather avoid.
Repeat experiences that make you feel self-confident. The more experiences you have that lead you to see the world and yourself in a new light, the more self-confident you’ll become.
Apply the “as if” technique. This is one of the most effective techniques for regaining belief in yourself and your potential.
Don’t act like a hotshot. To conclude, remember that self-esteem and arrogance are two opposite concepts. Learn to radiate confidence, but never behave like a pompous braggart.
Becoming more self-confident is a journey that requires effort and commitment, but it’s a journey well worth taking. Take the first step today, and watch as your self-confidence grows, unlocking new opportunities and experiences in your life.